Ready to create a change in your life?
Fabulous. You can do it. You are a powerful change-maker.
One simple attitude shift will make all of your changes, large and small, much easier.
Shift from will power to want power.
Tell me you are are trying to make a change in your life because you should and I’ll tell you not to bother.
Don’t bother until you shift from thinking you should make the change to feeling you want to make the change.
Quitting any habit (smoking, reacting with anger, dwelling on negative news, eating unhealthy food, spending too much time on social media… ) or beginning a new habit (moving more, eating more vegetables, spending time with loved ones, listening better, being more kind with yourself and others …) is tough when you are doing it because you think you should.
In my experience you are almost doomed to fail when your motivation is a should.
Coming from should or ought-to or even need-to makes you reliant on will power.
Relying on will power is like girding yourself for battle against the unwanted habit and against the part of yourself that wants to keep on with that old habit.
My Inner Word Geek perked right up when I wrote the phrase, “girding yourself for battle.” Hmmm… Where does that come from? What does it really mean?
Turns out the full phrase -girding your loins for battle- originated thousands of years ago when men wore tunics and before going to battle or intense physical labor would wrap tight cloths around their waists and pelvis and literally gird their loins for battle. Synonyms include to protect, fortify and arm.
When you try to create a change using will power, it will be hard. It will be a battle.
And in my experience, with myself and with hundreds of clients, it rarely works- at least for the long run.
You've probably heardthat research indicates we have limited amounts of will power. While we can increase the amount over time, we can also use it up. It often fails us when we most need it.
Will power is not very effective for creating change and especially not effective for sustaining change for the long term.
What does work - and is a lot more fun- is want power.
Want power comes from connecting to what you want, why you want it and how fabulous you are going to feel when you have achieved it.
Want power is wind in your sails blowing you in the right direction.
Want power helps you harness the life-changing energy of desire and enthusiasm.
Stop girding for battle with yourself.
Start aligning with what you really want and you will create changes that feel like miracles.
Tell me you should make a change, and I say, “Don’t bother”.
Tell me you want to make a change and I say, “Yes, you can”.